You control your own destiny and ultimately your own happiness. Sometimes we get stuck because we feel that we have no one to turn to. It was overwhelming for me to leave my abusive and toxic marriage. Absolutely everything induced anxiety and it was certainly no way to live. I’m not here to talk about the past… I’m here, today, to talk about happiness, thankfulness, and the future.
Nowadays, happiness looks different than even just 6 months ago; it seems to be constantly evolving and changing. The easiest way for me to describe my evolving mindset would be to simply say that when you are at your lowest, sometimes, you have to find happiness in just the little things.
Believe me, it was hard at times, I was truly reaching to find anything to be happy about. It started with my mother challenging me to find just one thing to be thankful for each day. I remember thinking “well, I’m thankful to have woken up this morning.” Then I would self-sabotage myself and think about how much easier it would’ve been had I just never woke up. I threw that “thankful” thought out the window and began searching for anything else that I could use for that day. That morning, I laid in my bed and I remember hearing the birds chirping outside my window. I thought, “BIRDS! I’m thankful for birds chirping.” I initially thought that it was such a corny thing to be thankful for… but who really gets to define what “I” am thankful for? Nobody else can choose what I am thankful for, except me. That day, I chose to be thankful for the birds chirping. They were singing a song just for me.
I cannot begin to tell you how many times I chose the birds chirping as the thing I was thankful for on any particular day. I then began to force myself to choose something new to be thankful for. My list that first month, looked identical like this:
- Day 1: Birds
- Day 2: Birds
- Day 3: Birds
- Day 4: Birds
- Day 5: Birds
- Day 6: Birds
- Day 7: Birds
- Day 8: Birds
- Day 9: The Sunshine
- Day 10: A Nice Day
- Day 11: The Sunshine
- Day 12: Birds
- Day 13: Birds
- Day 14: A Comfy Bed
- Day 15: My Support System
- Day 16: My Parents
- Day 17: My Boyfriend
- Day 18: My Support System
- Day 19: My Soon-to-be Nephew
- Day 20: My Sister
- Day 21: My Brother-In-law
- Day 22: My Brother & His Girlfriend
- Day 23: My Family
- Day 24: The Sunshine
- Day 25: Spending Time With My Youngest
- Day 25: The Opportunity To Work On My Mental Health
- Day 26: A Home
- Day 27: Food
- Day 28: A Loving Family
- Day 29: The Ability To Show Kindness To Others With Nothing In Return
- Day 30: To Have A Family That Loves Me
- Day 31: To Recognize That I Have A Lot To Be Thankful For
As you can see, there was a lot of repetition until I forced myself to make different choices. Unbeknownst to me at the time, forcing myself to choose other things also made me realize that even through my struggles, I still have so many things to be thankful for each and every single day. Once I began realizing how much I have to be thankful for it inevitably created a huge impact on me. Now, I automatically recognize the birds chirping and I immediately think, “Wow, I am thankful that the birds are singing my song.” I see that it’s a beautiful day, and as if it’s automatic, I think, “Wow, I am so glad it’s such a beautiful day outside.” The list goes on and on. The point that I am trying to make is that when you find things to be thankful for, even if it’s just the little things, you can retrain your brain to think more positively. In return, you start to have a positive outlook on life and begin to understand that not everything is negative.
Even through negative situations you can still find something to be positive about. I don’t want to make you think that it will change everything from gloom and doom to sunshine and rainbows but I can certainly say that it can have a profound impact on your mind, attitude, and emotional wellbeing . There will still be bad days but retraining your brain to be more positive, makes that even through the bad days you can still find something to be thankful for.
You hold the key to your happiness. Only you can change your mindset. This is a journey, not a race. I encourage you to invest in yourself and your future to find your happy place. It’s hard work but you will never regret putting in the work to make your life more whole, happy, and peaceful.
When was the last time that you truly felt happy? Share your happiness with me…
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